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but what does he care? It’s not his money. It was cruel to put
me under the guardianship of people who know nothing
about things.’
‘Philip.’
Philip in his voluble anger stopped suddenly at the sound
of her voice. It was heart-broken. He had not realised what
bitter things he was saying.
‘Philip, how can you be so unkind? You know we are only
trying to do our best for you, and we know that we have no
experience; it isn’t as if we’d had any children of our own:
that’s why we consulted Mr. Perkins.’ Her voice broke. ‘I’ve
tried to be like a mother to you. I’ve loved you as if you were
my own son.’
She was so small and frail, there was something so pa-
thetic in her old-maidish air, that Philip was touched. A
great lump came suddenly in his throat and his eyes filled
with tears.
‘I’m so sorry,’ he said. ‘I didn’t mean to be beastly.’
He knelt down beside her and took her in his arms, and
kissed her wet, withered cheeks. She sobbed bitterly, and he
seemed to feel on a sudden the pity of that wasted life. She
had never surrendered herself before to such a display of
emotion.
‘I know I’ve not been what I wanted to be to you, Philip,
but I didn’t know how. It’s been just as dreadful for me to
have no children as for you to have no mother.’
Philip forgot his anger and his own concerns, but thought
only of consoling her, with broken words and clumsy little
caresses. Then the clock struck, and he had to bolt off at

1 Of Human Bondage