Page 464 - of-human-bondage-

LIX

hilip passed the evening wretchedly. He had told his
Plandlady that he would not be in, so there was nothing
for him to eat, and he had to go to Gatti’s for dinner. Af-
terwards he went back to his rooms, but Griffiths on the
floor above him was having a party, and the noisy merri-
ment made his own misery more hard to bear. He went to a
music-hall, but it was Saturday night and there was stand-
ing-room only: after half an hour of boredom his legs grew
tired and he went home. He tried to read, but he could not
fix his attention; and yet it was necessary that he should
work hard. His examination in biology was in little more
than a fortnight, and, though it was easy, he had neglected
his lectures of late and was conscious that he knew nothing.
It was only a viva, however, and he felt sure that in a fort-
night he could find out enough about the subject to scrape
through. He had confidence in his intelligence. He threw
aside his book and gave himself up to thinking deliberately
of the matter which was in his mind all the time.
He reproached himself bitterly for his behaviour that
evening. Why had he given her the alternative that she must
dine with him or else never see him again? Of course she re-
fused. He should have allowed for her pride. He had burnt
his ships behind him. It would not be so hard to bear if he
thought that she was suffering now, but he knew her too