Page 468 - of-human-bondage-

how little under those circumstances it mattered what one
thought; the system of personal philosophy, which had giv-
en him great satisfaction to devise, had not served him. He
was puzzled by this.
But sometimes in the street he would see a girl who
looked so like Mildred that his heart seemed to stop beat-
ing. Then he could not help himself, he hurried on to catch
her up, eager and anxious, only to find that it was a total
stranger. Men came back from the country, and he went
with Dunsford to have tea at an A. B. C. shop. The well-
known uniform made him so miserable that he could not
speak. The thought came to him that perhaps she had been
transferred to another establishment of the firm for which
she worked, and he might suddenly find himself face to face
with her. The idea filled him with panic, so that he feared
Dunsford would see that something was the matter with
him: he could not think of anything to say; he pretended
to listen to what Dunsford was talking about; the conversa-
tion maddened him; and it was all he could do to prevent
himself from crying out to Dunsford for Heaven’s sake to
hold his tongue.
Then came the day of his examination. Philip, when his
turn arrived, went forward to the examiner’s table with the
utmost confidence. He answered three or four questions.
Then they showed him various specimens; he had been to
very few lectures and, as soon as he was asked about things
which he could not learn from books, he was floored. He
did what he could to hide his ignorance, the examiner did
not insist, and soon his ten minutes were over. He felt cer-