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a dastardly thing if one chose, but it was contemptible to
regret it afterwards. He thought the letter cowardly and
hypocritical. He was disgusted at its sentimentality.
‘It would be very easy if you could do a beastly thing,’ he
muttered to himself, ‘and then say you were sorry, and that
put it all right again.’
He hoped with all his heart he would have the chance
one day to do Griffiths a bad turn.
But at all events he knew that Mildred was in town. He
dressed hurriedly, not waiting to shave, drank a cup of tea,
and took a cab to her rooms. The cab seemed to crawl. He
was painfully anxious to see her, and unconsciously he ut-
tered a prayer to the God he did not believe in to make her
receive him kindly. He only wanted to forget. With beating
heart he rang the bell. He forgot all his suffering in the pas-
sionate desire to enfold her once more in his arms.
‘Is Mrs. Miller in?’ he asked joyously.
‘She’s gone,’ the maid answered.
He looked at her blankly.
‘She came about an hour ago and took away her things.’
For a moment he did not know what to say.
‘Did you give her my letter? Did she say where she was
going?’
Then he understood that Mildred had deceived him
again. She was not coming back to him. He made an effort
to save his face.
‘Oh, well, I daresay I shall hear from her. She may have
sent a letter to another address.’
He turned away and went back hopeless to his rooms. He

Of Human Bondage