Page 73 - of-human-bondage-

XIII

wo years passed, and Philip was nearly twelve. He was in
Tthe first form, within two or three places of the top, and
after Christmas when several boys would be leaving for the
senior school he would be head boy. He had already quite
a collection of prizes, worthless books on bad paper, but in
gorgeous bindings decorated with the arms of the school:
his position had freed him from bullying, and he was not
unhappy. His fellows forgave him his success because of his
deformity.
‘After all, it’s jolly easy for him to get prizes,’ they said,
‘there’s nothing he CAN do but swat.’
He had lost his early terror of Mr. Watson. He had grown
used to the loud voice, and when the headmaster’s heavy
hand was laid on his shoulder Philip discerned vaguely the
intention of a caress. He had the good memory which is
more useful for scholastic achievements than mental power,
and he knew Mr. Watson expected him to leave the prepa-
ratory school with a scholarship.
But he had grown very self-conscious. The new-born
child does not realise that his body is more a part of him-
self than surrounding objects, and will play with his toes
without any feeling that they belong to him more than the
rattle by his side; and it is only by degrees, through pain,
that he understands the fact of the body. And experiences

Of Human Bondage