Page 813 - of-human-bondage-

and he did not know what on earth to do: he was ashamed
at having slept on the Embankment; it seemed peculiarly
humiliating, and he felt his cheeks flush in the darkness. He
remembered stories he had heard of those who did and how
among them were officers, clergymen, and men who had
been to universities: he wondered if he would become one
of them, standing in a line to get soup from a charitable in-
stitution. It would be much better to commit suicide. He
could not go on like that: Lawson would help him when he
knew what straits he was in; it was absurd to let his pride
prevent him from asking for assistance. He wondered why
he had come such a cropper. He had always tried to do what
he thought best, and everything had gone wrong. He had
helped people when he could, he did not think he had been
more selfish than anyone else, it seemed horribly unjust
that he should be reduced to such a pass.
But it was no good thinking about it. He walked on. It
was now light: the river was beautiful in the silence, and
there was something mysterious in the early day; it was
going to be very fine, and the sky, pale in the dawn, was
cloudless. He felt very tired, and hunger was gnawing at his
entrails, but he could not sit still; he was constantly afraid
of being spoken to by a policeman. He dreaded the mor-
tification of that. He felt dirty and wished he could have a
wash. At last he found himself at Hampton Court. He felt
that if he did not have something to eat he would cry. He
chose a cheap eating-house and went in; there was a smell
of hot things, and it made him feel slightly sick: he meant
to eat something nourishing enough to keep up for the rest

1 Of Human Bondage