Page 815 - of-human-bondage-
P. 815

Philip  reckoned  his  age.  The  Vicar  of  Blackstable  was
           well over seventy. He had chronic bronchitis, but many old
           men had that and lived on indefinitely. Meanwhile some-
           thing  must  turn  up;  Philip  could  not  get  away  from  the
           feeling that his position was altogether abnormal; people
           in his particular station did not starve. It was because he
            could not bring himself to believe in the reality of his ex-
           perience that he did not give way to utter despair. He made
           up his mind to borrow half a sovereign from Lawson. He
            stayed in the garden all day and smoked when he felt very
           hungry; he did not mean to eat anything until he was set-
           ting out again for London: it was a long way and he must
            keep up his strength for that. He started when the day be-
            gan to grow cooler, and slept on benches when he was tired.
           No one disturbed him. He had a wash and brush up, and a
            shave at Victoria, some tea and bread and butter, and while
           he was eating this read the advertisement columns of the
           morning paper. As he looked down them his eye fell upon
            an announcement asking for a salesman in the ‘furnishing
            drapery’ department of some well-known stores. He had
            a curious little sinking of the heart, for with his middle-
            class prejudices it seemed dreadful to go into a shop; but he
            shrugged his shoulders, after all what did it matter? and he
           made up his mind to have a shot at it. He had a queer feeling
           that by accepting every humiliation, by going out to meet
           it even, he was forcing the hand of fate. When he present-
            ed himself, feeling horribly shy, in the department at nine
            o’clock he found that many others were there before him.
           They were of all ages, from boys of sixteen to men of forty;

            1                                  Of Human Bondage
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