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Philip reckoned his age. The Vicar of Blackstable was
well over seventy. He had chronic bronchitis, but many old
men had that and lived on indefinitely. Meanwhile some-
thing must turn up; Philip could not get away from the
feeling that his position was altogether abnormal; people
in his particular station did not starve. It was because he
could not bring himself to believe in the reality of his ex-
perience that he did not give way to utter despair. He made
up his mind to borrow half a sovereign from Lawson. He
stayed in the garden all day and smoked when he felt very
hungry; he did not mean to eat anything until he was set-
ting out again for London: it was a long way and he must
keep up his strength for that. He started when the day be-
gan to grow cooler, and slept on benches when he was tired.
No one disturbed him. He had a wash and brush up, and a
shave at Victoria, some tea and bread and butter, and while
he was eating this read the advertisement columns of the
morning paper. As he looked down them his eye fell upon
an announcement asking for a salesman in the ‘furnishing
drapery’ department of some well-known stores. He had
a curious little sinking of the heart, for with his middle-
class prejudices it seemed dreadful to go into a shop; but he
shrugged his shoulders, after all what did it matter? and he
made up his mind to have a shot at it. He had a queer feeling
that by accepting every humiliation, by going out to meet
it even, he was forcing the hand of fate. When he present-
ed himself, feeling horribly shy, in the department at nine
o’clock he found that many others were there before him.
They were of all ages, from boys of sixteen to men of forty;
1 Of Human Bondage