Page 853 - of-human-bondage-
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severe winter might be too much for the old man. With all
           his heart Philip longed for cold and rain. He thought of it
            constantly, so that it became a monomania. Uncle William
           was affected by the great heat too, and in August they had
           three weeks of sweltering weather. Philip imagined to him-
            self that one day perhaps a telegram would come saying that
           the Vicar had died suddenly, and he pictured to himself his
           unutterable relief. As he stood at the top of the stairs and di-
           rected people to the departments they wanted, he occupied
           his mind with thinking incessantly what he would do with
           the money. He did not know how much it would be, perhaps
           no more than five hundred pounds, but even that would
            be enough. He would leave the shop at once, he would not
            bother to give notice, he would pack his box and go with-
            out saying a word to anybody; and then he would return to
           the hospital. That was the first thing. Would he have forgot-
           ten much? In six months he could get it all back, and then
           he would take his three examinations as soon as he could,
           midwifery first, then medicine and surgery. The awful fear
            seized  him  that  his  uncle,  notwithstanding  his  promises,
           might leave everything he had to the parish or the church.
           The thought made Philip sick. He could not be so cruel. But
           if that happened Philip was quite determined what to do,
           he would not go on in that way indefinitely; his life was only
           tolerable because he could look forward to something bet-
           ter. If he had no hope he would have no fear. The only brave
           thing to do then would be to commit suicide, and, thinking
           this over too, Philip decided minutely what painless drug
           he would take and how he would get hold of it. It encour-

                                               Of Human Bondage
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