Page 992 - of-human-bondage-
P. 992

same time, for his thoughts chased one another through his
       brain and yet seemed to stand together, in a hopeless confu-
       sion, like the pieces of a jig-saw puzzle seen in a nightmare,
       he asked himself what he was going to do. Everything was
       so clear before him, all he had aimed at so long within reach
       at  last,  and  now  his  inconceivable  stupidity  had  erected
       this new obstacle. Philip had never been able to surmount
       what he acknowledged was a defect in his resolute desire
       for a well ordered life, and that was his passion for living
       in the future; and no sooner was he settled in his work at
       the hospital than he had busied himself with arrangements
       for his travels. In the past he had often tried not to think
       too circumstantially of his plans for the future, it was only
       discouraging; but now that his goal was so near he saw no
       harm in giving away to a longing that was so difficult to re-
       sist. First of all he meant to go to Spain. That was the land
       of his heart; and by now he was imbued with its spirit, its
       romance and colour and history and grandeur; he felt that
       it had a message for him in particular which no other coun-
       try could give. He knew the fine old cities already as though
       he had trodden their tortuous streets from childhood. Cor-
       dova, Seville, Toledo, Leon, Tarragona, Burgos. The great
       painters of Spain were the painters of his soul, and his pulse
       beat quickly as he pictured his ecstasy on standing face to
       face with those works which were more significant than any
       others to his own tortured, restless heart. He had read the
       great poets, more characteristic of their race than the poets
       of other lands; for they seemed to have drawn their inspi-
       ration not at all from the general currents of the world’s

                                                       1
   987   988   989   990   991   992   993   994   995   996   997