Page 216 - the-idiot
P. 216

‘It’s my turn, but I plead exemption,’ said Ptitsin.
         ‘You don’t care to oblige us?’ asked Nastasia.
         ‘I cannot, I assure you. I confess I do not understand how
       anyone can play this game.’
         ‘Then, general, it’s your turn,’ continued Nastasia Phili-
       povna, ‘and if you refuse, the whole game will fall through,
       which will disappoint me very much, for I was looking for-
       ward to relating a certain ‘page of my own life.’ I am only
       waiting for you and Afanasy Ivanovitch to have your turns,
       for I require the support of your example,’ she added, smil-
       ing.
         ‘Oh, if you put it in that way ‘ cried the general, excitedly,
       ‘I’m ready to tell the whole story of my life, but I must con-
       fess that I prepared a little story in anticipation of my turn.’
          Nastasia  smiled  amiably  at  him;  but  evidently  her  de-
       pression and irritability were increasing with every moment.
       Totski was dreadfully alarmed to hear her promise a revela-
       tion out of her own life.
         ‘I, like everyone else,’ began the general, ‘have committed
       certain not altogether graceful actions, so to speak, during
       the course of my life. But the strangest thing of all in my
       case is, that I should consider the little anecdote which I
       am now about to give you as a confession of the worst of my
       ‘bad actions.’ It is thirty-five years since it all happened, and
       yet I cannot to this very day recall the circumstances with-
       out, as it were, a sudden pang at the heart.
         ‘It was a silly affair—I was an ensign at the time. You know
       ensigns—their blood is boiling water, their circumstances
       generally penurious. Well, I had a servant Nikifor who used

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