Page 431 - the-idiot

let me see, I had something else to say...’ He covered his face
with his hands and tried to collect his thoughts.
‘Ah, yes—you were going away just now, and I thought
to myself: ‘I shall never see these people again-never again!
This is the last time I shall see the trees, too. I shall see noth-
ing after this but the red brick wall of Meyer’s house opposite
my window. Tell them about it—try to tell them,’ I thought.
‘Here is a beautiful young girl—you are a dead man; make
them understand that. Tell them that a dead man may say
anything—and Mrs. Grundy will not be angry—ha-ha! You
are not laughing?’ He looked anxiously around. ‘But you
know I get so many queer ideas, lying there in bed. I have
grown convinced that nature is full of mockery—you called
me an atheist just now, but you know this nature ... why are
you laughing again? You are very cruel!’ he added suddenly,
regarding them all with mournful reproach. ‘I have not cor-
rupted Colia,’ he concluded in a different and very serious
tone, as if remembering something again.
‘Nobody here is laughing at you. Calm yourself’ said
Lizabetha Prokofievna, much moved. ‘You shall see a new
doctor tomorrow; the other was mistaken; but sit down, do
not stand like that! You are delirious—Oh, what shall we do
with him she cried in anguish, as she made him sit down
again in the arm-chair.
A tear glistened on her cheek. At the sight of it Hippolyte
seemed amazed. He lifted his hand timidly and, touched
the tear with his finger, smiling like a child.
‘I ... you,’ he began joyfully. ‘You cannot tell how I ... he
always spoke so enthusiastically of you, Colia here; I liked

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