Page 448 - the-idiot

enough, and at once, without bidding farewell to anyone.
He felt a presentiment that if he remained but a few days
more in this place, and among these people, he would be
fixed there irrevocably and permanently. However, in a very
few minutes he decided that to run away was impossible;
that it would be cowardly; that great problems lay before
him, and that he had no right to leave them unsolved, or
at least to refuse to give all his energy and strength to the
attempt to solve them. Having come to this determination,
he turned and went home, his walk having lasted less than
a quarter of an hour. At that moment he was thoroughly
unhappy.
Lebedeff had not returned, so towards evening Keller
managed to penetrate into the prince’s apartments. He
was not drunk, but in a confidential and talkative mood.
He announced that he had come to tell the story of his life
to Muishkin, and had only remained at Pavlofsk for that
purpose. There was no means of turning him out; nothing
short of an earthquake would have removed him.
In the manner of one with long hours before him, he be-
gan his history; but after a few incoherent words he jumped
to the conclusion, which was that ‘having ceased to believe
in God Almighty, he had lost every vestige of morality, and
had gone so far as to commit a theft.’ ‘Could you imagine
such a thing?’ said he.
‘Listen to me, Keller,’ returned the prince. ‘If I were in
your place, I should not acknowledge that unless it were
absolutely necessary for some reason. But perhaps you are
making yourself out to be worse than you are, purposely?’