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CHAPTER XI. EXTRACTED
FROM THE DIARY OF THE
REV. JAMES NORTH.
ecember 7th.—I have made up my mind to leave this
Dplace, to bury myself again in the bush, I suppose, and
await extinction. I try to think that the reason for this de-
termination is the frightful condition of misery existing
among the prisoners; that because I am daily horrified and
sickened by scenes of torture and infamy, I decide to go
away; that, feeling myself powerless to save others, I wish
to spare myself. But in this journal, in which I bind my-
self to write nothing but truth, I am forced to confess that
these are not the reasons. I will write the reason plainly: ‘I
covet my neighbour’s wife.’ It does not look well thus writ-
ten. It looks hideous. In my own breast I find numberless
excuses for my passion. I said to myself, ‘My neighbour
does not love his wife, and her unloved life is misery. She is
forced to live in the frightful seclusion of this accursed is-
land, and she is dying for want of companionship. She feels
that I understand and appreciate her, that I could love her
as she deserves, that I could render her happy. I feel that I
have met the only woman who has power to touch my heart,
to hold me back from the ruin into which I am about to