Page 652 - for-the-term-of-his-natural-life

at me strangely now. Can it be that my disease of drunken-
ness has become the disease of insanity? Am I mad, or do I
but verge on madness? O Lord, whom in my agonies I have
confessed, leave me my intellect—let me not become a driv-
elling spectacle for the curious to point at or to pity! At least,
in mercy, spare me a little. Let not my punishment overtake
me here. Let her memories of me be clouded with a sense of
my rudeness or my brutality; let me for ever seem to her the
ungrateful ruffian I strive to show myself—but let her not
behold me—that!

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