Page 153 - the-trial

his ideas about his case.
K. now had no more thoughts of shame, the documents
had to be prepared and submitted. If, as was very likely, he
could find no time to do it in the office he would have to do
it at home at night. If the nights weren’t enough he would
have to take a holiday. Above he could not stop half way,
that was nonsense not only in business but always and ev-
erywhere. Needless to say, the documents would mean an
almost endless amount of work. It was easy to come to the
belief, not only for those of an anxious disposition, that it
was impossible ever to finish it. This was not because of
laziness or deceit, which were the only things that might
have hindered the lawyer in preparing it, but because he did
not know what the charge was or even what consequences
it might bring, so that he had to remember every tiny ac-
tion and event from the whole of his life, looking at them
from all sides and checking and reconsidering them. It was
also a very disheartening job. It would have been more suit-
able as a way of passing the long days after he had retired
and become senile. But now, just when K. needed to apply
all his thoughts to his work, when he was still rising and
already posed a threat to the deputy-director, when every
hour passed so quickly and he wanted to enjoy the brief eve-
nings and nights as a young man, this was the time he had
to start working out these documents. Once more, he began
to feel resentment. Almost involuntarily, only to put an end
to it, his finger felt for the button of the electric bell in the
ante-room. As he pressed it he glanced up to the clock. It
was eleven o’clock, two hours, he had spent a great deal of

1 The Trial