Page 199 - the-brothers-karamazov

He sees my despair. He sees the whole picture. Surely He
won’t let something awful happen. Alyosha, I believe in
miracles. Go!’
‘I am going. Tell me, will you wait for me here?’
‘Yes. I know it will take some time. You can’t go at him
point blank. He’s drunk now. I’ll wait three hours — four,
five, six, seven. Only remember you must go to Katerina
Ivanovna to-day, if it has to be at midnight, with the money
or without the money, and say, ‘He sends his compliments
to you.’ I want you to say that verse to her: ‘He sends his
compliments to you.’’
‘Mitya! And what if Grushenka comes to-day — if not to-
day, or the next day?’
‘Grushenka? I shall see her. I shall rush out and prevent
it.’
‘And if — ?’
‘If there’s an if, it will be murder. I couldn’t endure it.’
‘Who will be murdered?’
‘The old man. I shan’t kill her.’
‘Brother, what are you saying?’
‘Oh, I don’t know.... I don’t know. Perhaps I shan’t kill,
and perhaps I shall. I’m afraid that he will suddenly become
so loathsome to me with his face at that moment. I hate his
ugly throat, his nose, his eyes, his shameless snigger. I feel
a physical repulsion. That’s what I’m afraid of. That’s what
may be too much for me.’
‘I’ll go, Mitya. I believe that God will order things for the
best, that nothing awful may happen.’
‘And I will sit and wait for the miracle. And if it doesn’t

1 The Brothers Karamazov