Page 257 - the-brothers-karamazov

thing seemed to snap in his soul.) ‘You almost killed him
— cursed him — and now — here — you’re making jokes
— ‘Your money or your life!’’
‘Well, what of that? It’s not seemly — is that it? Not suit-
able in my position?’
‘No — I only-.’
‘Stay. Look at the night. You see what a dark night, what
clouds, what a wind has risen. I hid here under the willow
waiting for you. And as God’s above, I suddenly thought,
why go on in misery any longer, what is there to wait for?
Here I have a willow, a handkerchief, a shirt, I can twist
them into a rope in a minute, and braces besides, and why
go on burdening the earth, dishonouring it with my vile
presence? And then I heard you coming — Heavens, it was
as though something flew down to me suddenly. So there is
a man, then, whom I love. Here he is, that man, my dear lit-
tle brother, whom I love more than anyone in the world, the
only one I love in the world. And I loved you so much, so
much at that moment that I thought, ‘I’ll fall on his neck at
once.’ Then a stupid idea struck me, to have a joke with you
and scare you. I shouted, like a fool, ‘Your money!’ Forgive
my foolery — it was only nonsense, and there’s nothing un-
seemly in my soul.... Damn it all, tell me what’s happened.
What did she say? Strike me, crush me, don’t spare me! Was
she furious?’
‘No, not that.... There was nothing like that, Mitya. There
— I found them both there.’
‘Both? Whom?’
‘Grushenka at Katerina Ivanovna’s.’

The Brothers Karamazov