Page 362 - the-brothers-karamazov
P. 362

tellectual, so observant, choose a little idiot, an invalid like
       me? Ah, Alyosha, I am awfully happy, for I don’t deserve
       you a bit.’
         ‘You do, Lise. I shall be leaving the monastery altogether
       in a few days. If I go into the world, I must marry. I know
       that. He told me to marry, too. Whom could I marry bet-
       ter than you — and who would have me except you? I have
       been thinking it over. In the first place, you’ve known me
       from a child and you’ve a great many qualities I haven’t. You
       are more light-hearted than I am; above all, you are more
       innocent than I am. I have been brought into contact with
       many, many things already.... Ah, you don’t know, but I, too,
       am a Karamazov. What does it matter if you do laugh and
       make jokes, and at me, too? Go on laughing. I am so glad
       you do. You laugh like a little child, but you think like a
       martyr.’
         ‘Like a martyr? How?’
         ‘Yes, Lise, your question just now: whether we weren’t
       showing contempt for that poor man by dissecting his soul
       — that was the question of a sufferer.... You see, I don’t know
       how to express it, but anyone who thinks of such questions
       is  capable  of  suffering.  Sitting  in  your  invalid  chair  you
       must have thought over many things already.’
         ‘Alyosha,  give  me  your  hand.  Why  are  you  taking  it
       away?’ murmured Lise in a failing voice, weak with happi-
       ness. ‘Listen, Alyosha. What will you wear when you come
       out of the monastery? What sort of suit? Don’t laugh, don’t
       be angry, it’s very, very important to me.’
         ‘I haven’t thought about the suit, Lise; But I’ll wear what-

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