Page 566 - the-brothers-karamazov

This new something was the harassing impression left by
the conversation with Ivan, which now persistently haunt-
ed Alyosha’s mind. At this moment it haunted him. Oh, it
was not that something of the fundamental, elemental, so to
speak, faith of his soul had been shaken. He loved his God
and believed in Him steadfastly, though he was suddenly
murmuring against Him. Yet a vague but tormenting and
evil impression left by his conversation with Ivan the day
before, suddenly revived again now in his soul and seemed
forcing its way to the surface of his consciousness.
It had begun to get dusk when Rakitin, crossing the pine
copse from the hermitage to the monastery, suddenly no-
ticed Alyosha, lying face downwards on the ground under
a tree, not moving and apparently asleep. He went up and
called him by his name.
‘You here, Alexey? Can you have — ‘ he began wonder-
ing but broke off. He had meant to say, ‘Can you have come
to this?’
Alyosha did not look at him, but from a slight movement
Rakitin at once saw that he heard and understood him.
‘What’s the matter?’ he went on; but the surprise in his
face gradually passed into a smile that became more and
more ironical.
‘I say, I’ve been looking for you for the last two hours.
You suddenly disappeared. What are you about? What fool-
ery is this? You might just look at me..’
Alyosha raised his head, sat up and leaned his back
against the tree. He was not crying, but there was a look
of suffering and irritability in his face. He did not look at