Page 466 - nostromo-a-tale-of-the-seaboard

as a boy on one of these feluccas by a short-necked, shaven
Genoese, with a deliberate and distrustful manner, who (he
firmly believed) had cheated him out of his orphan’s inheri-
tance. But it is mercifully decreed that the evils of the past
should appear but faintly in retrospect. Under the sense of
loneliness, abandonment, and failure, the idea of return to
these things appeared tolerable. But, what? Return? With
bare feet and head, with one check shirt and a pair of cotton
calzoneros for all worldly possessions?
The renowned Capataz, his elbows on his knees and a
fist dug into each cheek, laughed with self-derision, as he
had spat with disgust, straight out before him into the night.
The confused and intimate impressions of universal disso-
lution which beset a subjective nature at any strong check to
its ruling passion had a bitterness approaching that of death
itself. He was simple. He was as ready to become the prey of
any belief, superstition, or desire as a child.
The facts of his situation he could appreciate like a man
with a distinct experience of the country. He saw them clear-
ly. He was as if sobered after a long bout of intoxication. His
fidelity had been taken advantage of. He had persuaded the
body of Cargadores to side with the Blancos against the rest
of the people; he had had interviews with Don Jose; he had
been made use of by Father Corbelan for negotiating with
Hernandez; it was known that Don Martin Decoud had ad-
mitted him to a sort of intimacy, so that he had been free
of the offices of the Porvenir. All these things had flattered
him in the usual way. What did he care about their poli-
tics? Nothing at all. And at the end of it all—Nostromo here