Page 30 - San Diego Woman Magazine POWER WOMEN ISSUE
P. 30

BIT CHIN  &   MO ANING



                                            told by the doctors that even though I   readily and we connect with a sense of
                                            had survived my first few months of life,   purpose. When we learn to align with
                                            I’d be paralyzed and a “vegetable“– their   our highest values and live with purpose,
                                            words, not mine. (Hey, this was before   we enjoy life. Sometimes, when we take
                                            a PC language came into vogue.) So,   on certain roles or go through certain
                                            everyone thought I’d be the epitome   experiences, we lose a certain sense of
                                            of disempowered as a woman. But, not   individuality and accidentally discon-
                                            only did I survive… I thrived as a child.  nect from our values – leaving us feeling
                                               Of course, the Universe wasn’t con-  disconnected, isolated or invisible. How
                                            tent giving me just one struggle. It want-  did I or anyone overcome these feelings
                                            ed to challenge me often to make sure I   of disempowerment and flip the switch?
                                            became a strong, empowered, confident   How do we more often feel our power
                                            woman. Not only was I born premature,   and be seen? If I were to boil it down,
                                            but I was also born into a Navy family. My  the main piece is a process of reminding
                                            father was a Navy pilot and my mother   yourself that you matter.
                                            was a Southern Belle. Being in a military   I suggest saying that phrase to your-
                                            family, we moved around a lot, almost   self before you go to bed at night: “You
                                            every year. Through all this, my parents   matter”. Notice how it feels when you say
                                            ended up divorcing, so I was raised by a   that phrase, maybe even notice where
                                            single mom. As was common for single   you feel it in your body. Maybe you feel
                                            moms during that time, my family strug-  it resonating in your heart, maybe you
                                                                                 notice it resonating in your head, maybe
             Ditch Feeling Disempowered                                          you notice it somewhere else. Maybe
                                                                                 you just notice the sensation as it comes
                                                                                 out of your mouth. Whatever you notice
                 and Embrace Your Power                                          is good. Just notice you matter.
                                                                                   Surround yourself with people who
                                                                                 resonate with that message and reflect
                                By Dr. Barbara Cox                               it back to you. This helps connect you
                                                                                 more with that feeling of mattering and
                                                                                 shows you what you value and what
           ID YOU KNOW THAT FEELING DIS-    gled financially. Many times, we had to   matters to you internally. It helps you
       Dempowered is just the flipside of the   scrounge around for loose change in the   dislodge unspoken societal messages
        coin of feeling empowered? If you never   sofa to pay for food that week, depend-  that say otherwise. There are many more
        felt disempowered, you would not know   ing on how finances were. Despite the   things you can do to make that empow-
        or understand what empowered felt   struggle (maybe even because of it), I   ered shift. Take the first step forward to a
        like. One cannot exist without the other.   was motivated to overcome poverty and   small action. I hope my story inspires you
        Weirdly, I like to think of disempower-  better myself. I taught myself to access a   to step into your place of power and own
        ment as a hidden gift. It is a sneaky gift   state of self-empowerment rather than   your power. Release disempowerment.
        though, because it feels unpleasant   wallow in a state of disempowerment.   Release any negative messages inside
        and leaves you feeling vulnerable and   I overcame physical challenges. I put   your head that say you don’t matter.
        powerless. But, you’re not actually pow-  myself through college and graduate   Release these in order to embrace your
        erless. When you feel disempowered, it’s   school. I worked for the Department of   power to be seen and valued for those
        actually teaching you how to access your   Defense. Eventually, I wrote a book to   unique talents that you bring to our
        power.                              distill what I learned in my journey to   world.
           My sneaky gift of disempowerment   help women flip the switch from disem-  Barbara Cox is an author of the
        came early. I was born a preemie at 28   powered to empowered.           newly released book The Muse Process:
        weeks gestation in the 60s, before they   When we as women feel empowered,   Unleashing the power of the feminine
        could rescue preemies. Somehow I    which I believe is an innate inborn state,   for success and fulfillment published by
        miraculously survived. My parents were   we align with our personal values more   McFarland Press.
                                                     For more information visit her Website: https://www.drcoxconsulting.com/

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