Page 42 - Education Issue
P. 42

BIT CHIN  &   MO ANING



           ES, IT’S TRUE, DUE TO AN                                                       arm that you still have) Put
        Yinjury in my right arm,                                                          pan down, pick up egg
        a few months back and the                                                         bowl place egg in pan and
        slow pace of my HMO, I have                                                       put bowl away so you can
        been slowly but surely learn-                                                     turn on a burner. Oh, and I
        ing what it means to have                                                         might add, try to injure your
        a slight disability. This has                                                     nondominant hand, I made
        only made me appreciate                                                           the mistake of hurting my
        the disabled and those poor                                                       right hand so I can’t write or
        veterans who returned to our                                                      eat with my left. So once the
        country with a missing limb.                                                      egg is done than I attempt
        I pray for them and realize                                                       to get the food 12 inches
        how thankful I am that this                                                       from the plate to my bent
        Is not a permanent situation.                                                     down head and about half
        Until you are without the use                                                     of the egg lands on my chest
        of a body part you do under-                                                      or the table. So I must allow
        stand, that we were created    I Have One Arm                                     twice the amount of time for
        with all the parts we have                                                        breakfast because half the
        for a very specific reason. We                                                    time is spent retrieving food
        need all of our limbs.                     By Judith A. Habert                    off my chest, the table and
           Getting dressed for                                                            the floor. Did you consider
        instance. Have you ever                                                           adding a condiment to your
        tried putting on a bra with   your arm to be positioned   your left hand can only go   egg? Forget it! Have you ever
        one hand, sorry for you    behind your back. So there   so far when you approach   tried uncapping a bottle or
        guys reading I am sure you   are only two solutions, well   from both the front and back   jar with one hand? Which
        haven’t, but trust me it is im-  three actually; have someone  of your body to pull up your   reminds me, what kind of
        possible? You can physically   who can help you put on   panties. So once again you   masochistic pharmacist
        get it on, but how the hell   your bra, difficult if you live   are forced to use your pain   believed it was a good idea
        do you hook the back. Most   alone, as neighbors might   ridden arm to shimmy them   to put my pain meds In a
        women use the spin tech-   not react well to the ringing   up all the way.        childproof bottle? I have to
        nique. Put the bra on back-  of their bell at 7 am to help   Once the undergarments   turn it upside down place
        ward, which if your husband,   you get dressed for work.   are conquered, it is now   the cap on my knee and turn
        boyfriend. Or significant   The second choice, don’t   moving on to the outer-    it with my good hand, which
        other ever walked in during   wear one, which only works   wear. Dresses seem the only   undoubtedly then causes all
        this process they are either   if you are no older than 20   answer as pants require the   of the contents of the bottle
        scared or jumping for joy as   and petite, or what I have   monkey arms again. So now   to fall on the floor and I have
        it appears you have boobs   done... buy one two sizes too   you are at least appropriately   to use my one good hand
        on both sides of your body.   big hook it before you put it   dressed. Probably not for a   to pick them up, and con-
        Once hooked the next step   on and then slide it over your  night on the town, but pass-  sidering the pain I’m in my
        is to spin it around until the   head. Not a great solution   able if the Amazon delivery   thoughtful doctor gave me
        cups are where they belong.   but one that took me three   person comes to the door.  120 painkillers, there goes
        Voila, you have accomplished  weeks to figure out when the   Ok, so the next hur-  another wasted 20 minutes
        the solo application of the   screams from my bathroom,   dle, breakfast. After three   scouring the floor to be sure
        bra. However, depending on   mine I might add, were   weeks I have mastered the   none have missed my sight
        your injury (mine is rotator   annoying my neighbors and   one-handed egg cracking   for fear that my little puppy
        cuff related meaning that the  the pain was no fun either.  technique (aside from a few   or granddaughter might
        spinning to the front step is   It isn’t just the top under-  shell fragments that found   think it is a new piece of
        impossible as it causes waves  garments that cause prob-  their way into my bowl).   candy, but I regress. Once
        of pain shooting up your   lems. The bottom half is just   What I have found is every-  breakfast is over than it is
        entire arm) so eliminating   as much of a challenge. It will  thing takes twice as long   time to clean the dish and
        this bra putting on process   easily go up the uninjured   with one arm. So put down   pan, ever try scrubbing a
        the next is putting it on fac-  leg (in my case the left side)   the egg open the closet   pan with one hand? Without
        ing the correct position and   but then what do you do   reach for a pan (warning:   the second hand to keep the
        reaching behind your back   about the right side. Unfortu-  this is not the best time for   pan in one place you end up
        to hook it. Nope, once again   nately, humans do not have   cast iron unless you want   chasing it across the counter.
        rotator cuff does not allow   long monkey length arms so   to dislocate the one good   Or you can lean it up against

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