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PATIENCE, PLANNING AND SUPPORT: REFLECTIONS ON DEALING WITH AGING FAMILY MEMBERS
doctor’s appointment and have a complete record to report. It helped us start to identify patterns and better manage his medications. On one occasion, he was showing symptoms of déjà vu, which was unusual. One of the caregivers had taken him to the chiropractor the day before, giving him
a seemingly innocuous over-the-counter supplement. We eliminated the supplement, and the déjà vu disappeared.
We found some supplements were beneficial for him and others were not, but only by tracking all of the data could we tease out what was best for him.
My brother was put in charge of the houses in Illinois and Florida, which worked for him. He was not interested in the physical stuff (helping with things such as suppositories, urinals, etc.) that my sisters and I would do, but he could manage the upkeep. Soon, we learned that one of the caregivers was very organized and able to do the shopping, so we increased her hourly rate to keep track of all of the caregivers’ hours and grocery expenses. Our local payroll firm took care of all of that headache.
We hired a massage therapist to come in once a week to give him a long massage, which he loved. Like many elderly, he craved touch, and the massage met that need.
We bought him a Sirius radio that had the music he grew up on and had it playing for him. It seemed to give him comfort, and he loved to sing and dance on his feet – even if he was by then bedridden.
We bought a big digital clock that he loved to have sitting on his belly, and he could check the time of night or day.
We kept the phone near him, and he was allowed to call anyone at any time of the day or night to have access to us – and us to him.
We bought a wheelchair van and were able to continue to take him to his favorite eating spots in town and meet his friends. I think he enjoyed those outings even when it was becoming difficult. One of my favorite memories was when I failed to strap down the wheelchair’s front wheels fully,
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