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Synchronicity. “Et resurrexit” pours from the speaker – the whole of the Mass in B Minor wends its
miraculous way. Today at AM we were reminded that the resurrection took place in the hours of
darkness. Darkness is such a fruitful realm, but only potentially. The real fruit ripens in the light. We could
indeed say “All we like plants” as well as “like sheep”. Words do indeed get in the way. Music, especially
emanating from Bach is, as Mendelssohn (who 'resurrected' Bach) said, more precise. Music conveys
many aspects of truth and of reality. Only Bach, certainly consistently, has, to me, conveyed the essence
of God, and of eternity. And Bach cannot be reduced to words.

Journal extract IV

Saying my name after “I am” at the Quiet Garden Day had a distinct meaning. A definite statement,
omitting individual details and also containing the whole. Simple and complete. A sudden vision,
awareness, realisation about a perspective, a depth, a core of being. That core concerns contemplation, a
“being with” myself, humanity, the earth, the divine. Another sense of coming home. Isaac Pennington's
“sinking down”. I am trying to resist 'for what purpose'. That there is a purpose, I am quite sure, but is it
for me to know in advance? Writing as a fruit of contemplation is an obvious possibility, but does this
stem from the ego? There is a huge difference between 'I want to write from my contemplation' and 'I am
ready to be guided towards the fruits of my contemplation'. I remember long ago, in an Anglican context,
not understanding the request for a study group on The Fruits of the Spirit. I do not now claim
understanding of the phrase, but some awareness of its reality. An awareness that anything which stems
from the divine is both complete, encompassing the whole and is also inexpressible in words.

Gifts. We all have gifts and I believe that the wish to give, to love, lies at the heart of all of us. I do not
need to cite examples, they abound around us. Yet the ego can channel those gifts for its own
gratification. Is a gift to another which is also a gift to ourselves really a gift? Not if it is undertaken for our
own nurturing, but a gift, freely given without thought of any reward, will of itself nurture us, maybe in
ways of which we are unaware. So, contemplation is not, or should not be, solely for my own self nurture.
That is indulgence. Yet it can be undertaken without knowledge or awareness of how it may become a
gift. Undertaken in the hope, the belief, that the Spirit may transform it in some way into a fruit for
others. This transformation might not be direct, or obvious, but may follow a secret path, not visible to
anyone. If contemplation is both a reaching in and a reaching out, there is harmony between the fruit for
self and the fruits for others.

Stuart Yates Knowlton Church with rainbow

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