Page 22 - SPRING 2024 News and Views

Dying Well Barrie Mahoney

The ongoing debate about assisted dying in the UK and in many other countries is much more relevant to
me now that I have been diagnosed with colon and liver cancer. Don’t misunderstand me, I currently
have no intention of going anywhere and, of course, I am determined to prove the doctors wrong.
Despite the bravado that cancer suffers often display, in those dark hours of the night, like so many in my
position, I often wonder how I will deal with those last few days and hours?

It’s not death that troubles me, but the pain, loss of dignity, loss of independence, and the burden that it
places upon others, and particularly those that are closest that troubles me most. In response to my
many questions about the issue, my consultant assures me that there will be drugs available to ease any
pain (I note the words “ease” and not to eliminate). Nursing support, or indeed a hospice place, would be
available if necessary. Despite his well-meaning and kindly, confident assurance, I am not so sure, since I
know that our local hospice is only accepting terminally ill patients in the final day or two of impending
death. This restriction is due to capacity, funding and staffing issues, which I find alarming since one’s
date of death is difficult to determine accurately. Such is the demand for such places that a peaceful end
to one’s life in the hospice is not assured given the lottery of admission and appropriate care. Personally,
I would like to die at home, surrounded by people that I love in a place that I feel comfortable in, but I
know that this may not be possible or sensible when the time comes.

So, what’s the answer? The answer, to me, is very clear. Would we let a dog or cat, or indeed any animal,
suffer from an incurable illness when we could see that they are in pain or distress? For most people, the
answer would be ‘No, of course not’. Would we not try to ease their pain and to make their end as
comfortable as possible in a place where they feel loved, and secure? (Although I accept that there is a
very different morality when it comes to the appalling treatment of farm animals and their slaughter.)
Can we not offer the same compassion to humans too?

I sometimes wonder if I would be happy to spend around £10,000, if I could afford it, for a one-way flight
to the Dignitas Clinic in Switzerland where I could legally decide to end it all, with a couple of tablets, and
at a time and manner of my choosing. Of course, this option is a non-starter for most people, but more
enlightened governments in the Netherlands, Belgium and elsewhere have made it much easier for
assisted dying to take place in their countries and this is being seriously considered in many others. The
issue is once again being debated in the UK Parliament, and I truly hope that it will not be too long before
the UK recognises that it is time for compassion to be at the heart of a new law to allow assisted dying.

There are often well stated and passionate arguments relating to the prevention of abuse by relatives
anxious to get their hands on the sick person’s estate, but protections can be and are put in place to
prevent such abuse in other countries, so why not in the UK? Although Quakers have not at this stage of
the debate definitively stated their agreed views, there are numerous and often reasonable objections
from many religious bodies that are carefully considered in this debate. What I do object to is the view
that assisted dying is ‘Against God’s Will’, and as such is regarded as a sin. As a Quaker, I find it hard to
balance a loving God, the Spirit, or Whatever wishing to prolong pain and misery; a view that I personally
find hard to take seriously. It is for this reason that I would like to see well meaning, but often
misinformed and dogmatic clerics removed from this parliamentary debate, and replaced with informed
views from the dying, the medical profession, as well as lawmakers who have dealt with a similar
challenge in other countries.

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