Page 4 - TheLeekLoserEdition_1
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OCTOBER 14, 2020 BREAKING NEWS
Yesterday, Donald J. Trump Jr. and accused bully, former Fox News reader and girlfriend, Kimberly Guilfoyle were guests at a private fundraiser for his father at the Bullroar Valley Golf Club near Woodstock, Illinois. Reportedly, attendance was disappointing, which should come as no surprise because every person alive in the 60s and 70s knows that the real Woodstock is in New York.
The “meet-and-give” was hosted by Gary Rabine, founder of a Schaumburg-based construction company bearing his name. Recently, he became the head of a political organization called Save Illinois.
A source close to the organization described its dual mission:
1. Defeat every Democratic officeholder in the state of Illinois, from dogcatcher on up; then pass a law that permanently expels the Democratic Party.
2. Prevent the state from being swallowed up by Lake Michigan, after declaring that Democrats have been deliberately raising its water level going back to Mayor Anton Cermak in 1931.
Nine people from their late teens to 90s attended the event’s outdoor rally. Because no one could afford a $150 premium seat, Rabine grudgingly relented and allowed attendees to sit in the reserved chairs. Don Junior spoke briefly and succinctly, "We need you guys out there, we need you mobilizing your friends, we need you calling everyone – even here, even in the People's Republic of Illinois."
Attired in the same bosom-revealing RNC Convention red dress and three-inch fake eyelashes, Guilfoyle grabbed the podium and shrieked:
