Page 6 - TheLeekLoserEdition_1

OCTOBER 17, 2020 BREAKING NEWS
On Tuesday of this week at a rally in Johnstown PA, president Trump broke down in tears – then sobs – begging, “Suburban women, will you please like me? PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. I saved your damn neighborhood, OK?”
At the same rally, the president oozed desperation when he confessed that it would be embarrassing to lose to Mr. Biden, calling him “the single worst candidate in the history of presidential politics,” and saying, “Can you imagine if you lose to a guy like this? I’m not gonna feel so good. Maybe I’ll have to leave the country? I don’t know.”
Trump seamlessly pivoted from begging to bragging, “We’re going to see that the women really like Trump a lot,” lying that he won women with 52% of the vote in 2016. He repeatedly claims that he has done more for – to? – women than any president in history. He has made the same claim about African Americans (“The Blacks”), Latinos (“The Latins”), military veterans, police and many other population groups he routinely coddles.
Continuing to brag, again falsely about Covid-45, “Now, I’m immune and I can prove it.” He then asked the audience for volunteers and hundreds of hands shot up, accompanied by shouts of “Me, me...me, me, me-me, please me!” Appearing thrilled by the response, the president left the podium and walked into the crowd, as startled Secret Service agents faithfully followed.