Page 8 - TheLeekLoserEdition_1

OCTOBER 18, 2020 BREAKING NEWS
Today, the president is on a campaign marathon, making stops in Las Vegas NV to be photographed holding a Bible in a church next to his China Virus companion and adviser, Hope Hicks; in Newport Beach CA to raise money for his floundering campaign; and in Carson City NV this evening for another slanderous stump speech.
The president only attends church if it has entertainment value and makes news, preferably on television. Yet, he commands strong support from white Evangelical leaders, who are frequently invited to the White House, some reportedly spending the night in the Lincoln Bedroom. Formerly President Lincoln’s office and Cabinet room, the space is now used as a White House Guest Room, but this president’s “guests” are required to sign NDAs and carry personal liability insurance.
Supporters started lining up at 8am this morning for the 4pm Carson City Airport rally. A few hundred were gathered by noon, unmasked, toting guns and shouting, “Masks are for wimps!” “Masks are for pansies!” and “Masks are for yellow bellies!” Strangely, one man revealing a considerable midriff and a few pubic hairs wore a cowboy striptease outfit complete with suede fringe and chest beads.
Speaking to the modest crowd of unmasked supporters, president Trump boasted that he would sweep Nevada, Michigan and North Carolina despite polls that show him trailing significantly in all three