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states. Referring to the media, he said, “They want Biden to win, but if Biden wins they’re out of business. He’s the most boring person I’ve ever seen. Their ratings will be in the toilet.”
Prior to the president’s speech, State Minority Leader Robin Titus (R-Wellington) opened the event with a prayer for Trump’s Covid-45 recovery even though the president has claimed that he is “a perfect physical specimen” and now completely “immune.” The prayer also asked God for swift confirmation of his “Almighty Angel,” Amy Coney Barrett, to the U.S. Supreme Court.
Michael McDonald, chairman of the Nevada Republicon Committee, urged the assembled attendees to vote for Trump, and to deposit their ballots into special boxes located in their local churches, “Please be confident that these exclusive ballot boxes were blessed by God
not the devil, like all of the others. No ballot boxes come with a stronger or more trustworthy endorsement. Don’t waste your Trump vote by casting your ballot any other way. We will have volunteer militias standing by to ensure that God’s voting rules are followed.”
This story will be updated when God’s voting rules are located.