Page 78 - Javanan Magazine Issue # 1903

PSYCHOLOGICAL
PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUE No. 1902
ISSUE No. 1856
PERSPECTIVES JAVANAN
PERSPECTIVES

JAVANAN
Dr. Alan A.
Modarressi LOGICAL PERSPECTIVES
Clinical and A SOCIOCULTURAL AND MIND AND BODY OUTLOOK
Neuro-Psychologyst
In this column, we examine the mental health issues in the context
of social, culture, and physiological concerns of the Iranian community

ast week we explored ways USING YOUR REGRET TO YOUR ADVANTAGE
of using the painful emotion
Lof regret actually improve our Part 2-More on Using an Emotional Pain to Improve Your Mental Health
emotional wellbeing. I discussed
realizing that our past has value be-
cause every hardship contains a les-
son. But it helps you focus on steer-
ing yourself toward a better future.
That means ruminating about
your regrets is like focusing on the
past which will cause you to lose
sight of your present and the future.
Analyzing your regrets and learning
not repeat them would be very valu-
able. But dwelling on them would
be destructive.
Take corrective action- Consider
whether your regret has to do with
your actions or inactions, Santos
advised. If it’s related to something
you said or did, you may be able to
rectify the situation by apologizing
to someone you hurt or by reaching
out to someone you lost touch with.
There’s real power in an apology,
in coming clean and taking respon-
sibility for your actions. Putting it
out there has the power to help your
relationship. If you can’t fix a situ-
ation, you can try to accept some-
thing good about the experience.
Tell yourself, “At least I’ve learned
_____,” and then fill in the blank.
If your regret stems from inaction
(say, you didn’t accept an appeal-
ing job offer), think about what you said her biggest regrets involve op- road they didn’t take would have led challenges, but ultimately, you can
can do now to improve your current portunities she missed out on. Her to a much better outcome. only move forward if you find op-
work situation or look for a new one. list of regrets includes twice choos- We have to remember there is no portunities in your reality, whatever
Be kind to yourself- Self-com-
passion means treating yourself ing the wrong romantic partner and perfect path. As you look back on that may be.
with the care and understanding you not taking care of her personal well- what you didn’t do in 2023, remem- The crazy thing about regret is
would give to a dear friend. One se- being. ber that you made decisions based that it seems imperative some-
ries of studies found that self-com- After working on self-forgive- on the information you had at the times—as if we have to indulge it
passion helped people better cope ness, she built up the courage to time. Sometimes the best lesson you like a bed we made and now have
with regret. change her life and launched her can learn from regret is to be real- to lie in. But there’s nothing compel-
Acknowledging that I’m human own photography studio. istic about your expectations and ling us to dwell on the way things
and I make mistakes allows you to “Now, I prioritize my own needs limitations. could have been. The only thing that
live with your regrets peacefully. It and focus on the fact that I’m doing Challenge your thinking- There’s keeps us stuck in lost possibilities is
doesn’t mean you forget it or that the best I can to be the best I can be a quote that reads “Success is often the refusal to focus on new ones.
what you did was okay. But you can in the future,” she said. the result of taking a misstep in the Life is now, and we always have a
forgive yourself and move to a place Remind yourself hindsight isn’t right direction.” If your mistake pro- choice: Do we drown in regret over
of acceptance. always 20/20- Studies show that pels you toward a better future, then what never came to be, or use our
Stephanie Shanks, a 42-year-old sometimes people idealize choices it’s actually a blessing in disguise. I energy to create what can be? To-
mother of three in Baraboo, Wisc., they didn’t make, believing that the realize mistakes oftentimes present day, I am choosing the latter.

DANESH FOROUGHI, PH.D. Alan Modarressi, PhD, QME
Licensed Clinical Psychologist, PSY13680 Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Licensed Marriage, Family & Child Psychotherapist, MFC23455 Qualified Medical Evaluator
Certified National Board of Addiction Examiners #4974 Certified Psychophsychologist
Tel: (310) 940-3642 Diplomat, American Academy of Pain Management
15720 Ventura Blvd., Second Fl. #224 Encino CA 91436 (818) 501-6080 (562) 861-7226

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