Page 169 - Interior_SPRING SUMMER FALLING_2021

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We watch the scene we lived unfold. I hear a few sighs and an awws when
Henri appears shortly after, suitcases in hand; his work clothes are slightly
disheveled from travel. He’s gaze is locked with mine as he sings. The happiness to
see each other is evident on our faces.
I don’t hear the music anymore nor am I watching the scene. I’m stuck

watching my reaction to Henri. The way my eyes sparkle when I look at him. How
I guide myself to be near him. My sigh when he grabs me. Damn. I was so
transparent. My heart rate kicks up. My palms start to sweat. I was so transparent
in that moment I feel exposed. I was already falling for him then.
I’m scared to look around the room. I don’t want to encounter any knowing
looks. If I’ve looked at him the whole weekend the way I’m looking at him in the
video, then it was easy for others to believe we are a couple. It would explain why
Teo was the only one trying to get me to define our relationship.
It hurt to be confronted with myself. It ripped all my lies and justifications
away, leaving me raw. I can’t continue with him this way. Everything will change
once he moves. We will get busy with our separate lives. Our interactions will
dwindle down to an occasional quickie. Eventually, he will break up with me via
phone or text. No. Worse. We’re not an actual couple. I will remain on a dating
freeze waiting for Henri to call then I’ll get a craving for fresh produce and run into

him and his new woman at a farmer’s market. I won’t be able to complain or get
mad because he was never mine.
People clapping pull me out of my thoughts. Our dads are studying us. My
mom looks ready to ship us off to Las Vegas again. Claire and Henri’s mom are
dabbing at their eyes. Tears? I guess I would need to watch it again…in private,
when no one else is around.
“I love that song.” Claire sniffs.
“Was that staged?” Henri’s dad asks. It is a real question.
Tala shakes her head. “No. That’s the best part. They caught something that
you’d expect to see in a musical…organically.”
His dad studies us again. I cannot guess what he’s thinking. It’s weird being on
the other side of his steady gaze. He practically ignores me most of the time. He
takes another sip of his lemonade then moves to the kitchen for a refill.
Tala’s smile moves towards her ears. “I underplayed it a little. This is your copy.
We just wanted to watch it with you two.”