Page 7 - anger management PG_flip
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As we’ll see shortly, there are many useful anger management tips and
techniques, from self-directed to counselor-assisted, that will result in
greatly improving your health and relationships. But, first, let’s look at
what bad things are in store for those who fail to rein in their anger.

Feel-Good Experiences
Maybe you think venting your anger has only a single positive conse-
quence – you feel better afterwards. Did this feel-good experience
solve the problem? Did it get you renewed respect? Did it persuade
others to do what you wanted? Maybe, maybe not. But chances are
you felt better having vented in public. After all, immediately ex-
pressing your anger seemed like a good idea at the time. Like so many
other things in life, what seemed to be a good idea at the time, in ret-
rospect, was actually a bad idea. Did you ever think what might have
happened had you paused and counted to 10 before reacting to the
situation or incident, or repeated that useful, and very realistic, mental
reset refrain, “This too will pass”?
But what happens to the many angry people, especially women,
who usually don’t vent in public? They may sulk, internalize their an-
ger, let their emotions boil or simmer, and never say a thing. They
don’t feel better. Indeed, the consequences for them may be just the
opposite – they feel worse as time goes by, continuously replaying
in their mind the incident that precipitated their ongoing anger. The
replay may actually exacerbate their internalized anger. In fact, they
may stay angry the rest of their lives, for example, over some family
or relationship incident that left an indelible impression in their men -
tal anger bank. The particular incident leaves a “stain” on the person
who ostensibly did them wrong; it becomes the dominant reason
why they now hate that person. That incident and subsequent angry
reaction may also change the way they deal with other people
– they become more anxious, less trustworthy, more cautious, sus-

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