Page 6 - 10 October 2025

PAGE 6 · THE REPORTER 10 OCTOBER 2025

the entire walk issuing stern communication is done
commands that the dog exclusively through thumbs.
ignores, while still apo- A great anthropologist of the
logising profusely to every future will one day write,
stranger it licks. And then “They evolved to grunt in
comes the toilet situation. person while conducting full
relationships via screens.”
Some owners carry little
bags and look noble, like And then there are the little
civic-minded superheroes, slapstick moments, like the
swooping in to save the universal law that whenever
grass. Others, not so much. s o m e o n e t r i p s o v e r
You can spot the guilty ones; absolutely nothing, they will
Watching the World Go By they glance left, glance right, always whip around and
see no witnesses, and glare at the pavement. As if
(From a Park Bench) suddenly discover an urgent to say, “Some invisible
Ons wens die volgende tagtigjariges van harte geluk reason to admire the clouds assassin placed a stick here
met hul verjaarsdae en wens hulle alles van die beste while Fido leaves a steaming just to humiliate me.” It’s
vir die toekoms toe: There’s a certain majesty in as if to say, “Forgive me, legacy behind. It’s the never their own clumsiness;
sitting on a park bench and Father, I’m on my third public-space equivalent of a it’s clearly a conspiracy by
We congratulate the following octogenarians on their observing life. People think kilometre.” One wonders if hit-and-run. the cobblestones.
birthdays and wish them everything of the best for the you’re doing nothing, but in they keep running because And just when dignity seems Fashion, meanwhile, pro-
future: fact, you’re engaged in one the alternative is having to possible, the dog drops to its vides the comic relief. Every
of humanity ’s oldest talk to the rest of us.
Santjie Pretorius, 88 op 10 Oktober pursuits, judging strangers haunches and drags its park stroll is a catwalk of
Jackie Neethling, 80 op 18 Oktober without consequences. It’s Then there are the mothers backside across the lawn like confusion. Tracksuit pants
Issie Vorster, 87 op 24 Oktober cheaper than Netflix, quieter with prams. Each pram it’s auditioning for a comedy tucked into boots, puffer
Stephanus Vorster, 85 op 26 Oktober than rugby commentary, costs more than the family sketch. Owners try to jackets in summer, and
car, complete with sus-
sunglasses the size of dinner
Betsie Sciocatti, 83 op 30 Oktober and the only buffering you pension, shock absorbers, maintain composure, plates. Somewhere a de-
endure is when the pigeons and cup holders. I once saw muttering things like “Oh, signer convinces people that
pause mid-strut, deciding a model with Bluetooth. The it’s just his glands” as if that beige is “the new black,” and
whether your sandwich crust child inside is asleep, drib- explains everything. But suddenly everyone looks like
is worth the risk. bling happily, unaware there’s no recovering from a collection of paper bags.
that; your dog has just used
From my bench, I’ve noticed they’re travelling in some- the park as its personal And then there’s the fellow
that joggers always look thing with more features doormat, and everyone saw. with trousers so tight he
guilty. Not guilty of anything than my bakkie. walks like a penguin in
specific, but guilty of having Dogs, of course, rule the Teenagers congregate in labour, fashion’s way of
clumps, all facing each other
made life choices that park. They drag their owners ensuring we don’t take
involve Lycra before around with the gleeful but never speaking. Their ourselves too seriously.
breakfast. They approach abandon of someone who
with the solemnity of priests, just discovered the concept
nod gravely in your direction of freedom. Owners spend

The Reporter which is registered at the Post Office as
a newspaper is printed and published by the
proprietors, Barkly East Reporter cc (Reg No.
2002/024771/23) at 28 Greyvenstein Street, Barkly
East.
Copyright on all materials in The Reporter reserved
by the proprietors.

Hierdie lys van funksies en gebeure word
gepubliseer in ‘n poging om te verhoed dat
belangrike fondsinsameling pogings bots. Funksies
geplaas op voorwaarde dat ‘n advertensie later
geplaas word. ‘n Rekening sal gestuur word
indien daar nie ‘n advertensie geplaas word nie.

NOVEMBER 2025
1 Golf Day (Barkly East)
22 AGS Shalom 4x4 Mannedag
DECEMBER 2025
13 MOSHESH Classic: Tennis, Pickleball, Social
Paddle, MTN Biking