Page 22 - eMuse Vol.9 No.03_Classical
P. 22
It’s hard to believe that them tales is true,
But is easy as addin’ up two an’ two
Pitcher Show To come to the truth an’ I alwas knoo
None of ‘em’s room to talk.
There’s Connie Kidd with ‘er nose in the air,
Pert as you please at that .
By C J Dennis Puttin’ on style with ‘er with her haughty smile.
An’ right there nex’ to ‘er sat
The son of the woman that washes an’ scrubs
The pitcher show it comes to town Of ole Polly Dibbs with ‘er soap an’ an’ ‘er tubs;
Every Friday night . An’ ‘im she ogles; but me she snubs;
Pitcher show? Pitcher show! Pert as you please at that .
Oh, it’s a show all right. Take it from me — an’ I ain’t fur from wrong —
But I scarce ‘ave time to look at the screen Somethin’ll soon come out.
There’s so much else to be ‘eard an’ seen Talkin’ away so easy an’ gay,
In the audience, all polished and clean, An’ flashin’ ‘er smiles about.
Every Friday night . Talkin’ the whole of the night, them two.
Oh, the audience is a sight to see, I think it’s a scandal, indeed I do.
Every Picture night: An’ ‘er father the ‘ead of the Council too!
Stout an’ slim all proper and prim, Somethin’ll soon come out.
Looking an awful sight; Somethin’ll come. You mark my words,
Councillor Kidd all fussy an’ fat Connie’s a fair young minx
An’ that wife of ‘is in ‘her ugly ‘at Saucy an’ gay as the next they say;
Sniffin’ an’ starin’; the nasty cat An’ I near caught on of ‘er winks.
Every pitcher night . (The pitcher? My it was simply grand!)
Butcher, baker an’ all the town But I can’t see Connie unless I stand,
Come to the pitcher show Yet I’m almost sure ‘e was ‘oldin’ ‘er ‘and.
All of ‘em dressed in their Sunday best, Connie’s a sly young minx.
Sittin’ up there in a row. Fancy ‘er married to that young lout.
An’ they snuffle an’ snigger an’ giggle an’ grin, There’ll be a hulla balloo!
Watchin’ the picture an’ takin’ it all in, An’ ‘er pa the squire, you might say of the shire.
While the boys at the back make a orful din Yes, an’ ‘e’s a J. P. too.
Up at our pitcher show. They was walkin’ together when we come out
It’s as good a play at the pitcher show, With ‘alf of the township ‘angin’ about!
Every Friday night, An ‘e seen ‘er right to ‘er ‘ome no doubt.
Watchin’ the crowd — the meek an’ the proud There’ll be a hullaballoo!
Gapin’ at left an’ right. An’ the parson, ‘e said as ‘e come to the door,
The couples draw close when the lights go out, ‘E said ‘twas a scandalous scene.
An’ the larrikins stamp an’ whistle an’ shout, An ‘e meant ‘im an’ ‘e, if ‘e didn’t refer
An’ the constable puts ole Doogan out, To the pitcher we’d ‘ad on the screen.
Every Friday night . We’ll ‘e might ‘a’ meant that, or ‘ might ‘a’ meant this,
I love the pitchers but, An’ I’d not be su’prised if Bill give ‘er a kiss
Goodness me! Tho’ that was a bit that I ‘appened to miss
‘Ow can I watch the screen Oh, what a scandalous scene!
When me mind’s all took, wherever I look, The pitcher? ‘Twas great! But I donno the name
With things to be ‘eard an’ seen? I was lookin’ away at the time.
Shoes and stockings an’ ‘at an’ gown It was ‘ow love is blind an’ — you know the kind.
That never was bought at our shops in town — The actin’ was simply sublime.
While I’m sizin’ ‘em uo an’ notin’ ‘em down, The girl ‘ad a lover an’ e ‘ad a friend,
‘Ow can I watch the screen? An they fought — Oh, not nothin’ to reely offend!
I gather the gossip for all the week But I didn’t see ‘ow it come out at the end,
Up at the pitcher show. I was looking away at the time.
‘Ow can the spend their money no end The pitcher show comes to our town
Is what I would like to know. Every Friday night .
As I sez to me friend, dear Mrs ‘Awke, Pitcher show? Well I know
It’s worth the price an’ it’s worth the walk It’s a show all right.
For to ‘ear them snippets of whispered talk When folks forgit there p’s an’ q’s,
Up at the pitcher show. I gather quite a lot of news
There’s scandalous doin’s in this ‘ere town An’ get a lot of privit views
An’ none of ‘em’s room to talk; Every Friday night .
For kettle an’ pot is the same bad lot The Herald, 7 May 1927
As I mentions to Mrs ‘Awke,
22 eMuse March 2020
