Page 23 - eMuse Vol.9 No.01_Classical

Schools Section — Short Story Photo by
Secondary School — Short Story Years I0.11.12
1st: “The Other Side” Jayda Hall Young NSW Greg Dillon.
2nd: “The Alchemists’s Letter” Brittany Doolan Coonabarabran NSW Remains
Secondary School — Short Story Years 7.8.9 of an old
1st: “The Antidote” Charlize Jade Franks Greenock SA cattle yard
2nd: “Morphing Malfunction” Owen Lam Essendon North Vic
Judge’s Comments: Try to show, don’t tell, in your writing. Edit in the Chan-
carefully and get someone else to do this as well. Don’t try nel Country.
to impress with vocab when it detracts from the flow of the Said to cover
story. Make sure your content is appropriate, interesting half an acre
and allows you to take the reader on a journey. Be careful
with “form” when writing, keeping it interesting by varying in the day.
sentence length, paragraph size and language techniques. Believed to
Primary School — Short Story Years 4.5.6 have been
1st: “Miracle On Milky Farm” Gwendolyn Corkery Young NSW used by
2nd: “My Papa” Lucinda Shields Sacred Heart Cootamundra NSW
HC: “A Trip To Nowhere” Tyler Lacey St Mary’s Primary Young NSW cattle
HC: “My Past” Grace Page-Dickenson Ravenswood School for Girls, Gordon NSW duffers.
C: “Tarni’s Story” Hanna Drum Sacred Heart Coota-
mundra NSW Put Australia First.
C: “If Only” Georgia Gray Ravenswood School for Girls Gordon NSW
Encoragement Award: “Samurai Warrior” Joshua Cameron By Gregory M. Dillon. 7-3-2008.
St Mary’s Primary Young NSW You reckon mate /you’ve been around;
Judge’s Comments: The winning story was wellwriiten, about You’ve traveled over-seas.
country life. Action and drama moved the story along in a Took in the sights of foreign shores;
flowing and descriptive style. Second place had the ability and went were ere you pleased.
to communicate the feelings of the characters involved in
the story. Flowed welland left no loose ends or unanswered Well mate, I’m happy for you;
questioris. Highly Commended was from a set topic, which we Though it’s clear you made a blue.
feel restricts the children’s imagination, however, this one had You ought to see Australia first,
good structure and was pleasant to read. The other Highly if you think of “Shooting-through”.
Commended was again a set topic but flowed smoothly. There’s just no doubt about it;
Junior Primary School — Short Story Years 1.2.3. Australia hits the spot.
1st: “Weeds” Mirabelle Corkery Young NSW It’s waiting for your company;
2nd: “The Unicrons” Ava Culek St Joseph’s Primary Boorowa NSW to show you what its got.
HC: “The Fairy And The Unicorn’s Adeventures Poppy’Rose Howarth
Trinity Primary School Murrumburrah NSW Coast to coast, across the nation;
HC: “Locked” Kacey Evelyn Wallendbeen Public School NSW There’s scenery wall to wall.
HC: “My Next Sleepover” Zoe Miller-Logue slowly flowing Rivers Mate;
Trinity Primary Murrumburrah NSW and mountains standing tall.
C: “Dog Days” Sienna Houghston St Joseph’s Primary Boorowa NSW From Darwin down to Hobart
C: “Mum”s On A Diet” Grace Card Wombat Public School Wombat NSW from Perth to Sydney Town;
Encoragement Award: “Where ls Thomas” Tasha Huang Travancore Vic and all the places in between,
“The Betrayal” Elizabeth Zhang Toorak Victoria they’ll never let you down.
“The Curious Parrot” Persaeus Bloor Wombat Public School NSW
Special Section For Kindergarten Awards When you have a mind to travel;
1st: “My First Day At School” Penelope Keenan Wombat NSW and you want to see it all.
2nd: “Cherry Jam” Makayla Layton Wombat NSW Start off with Australia mate,
Judges Comments: The first place told a confident story about You’re bound to have a ball.
an unusual subject that had been well researched. Second There can be no denying;
place showed really good use ofthe author’s imagination. that Australia is the best.
While some ofthe place getters followed a set subject we Put your money where your heart is,
do not recommend this for entering a competition, as many and put her to the test.
stories are the same and result in stifled stories that do not
develop well. We do see, that as a class project it would be Her cities are beyond the realm;
sornewhat easier to follow, but this has a restricting effect of places over-seas.
on the imagination of the children. Word count IS VERY Her beaches and her night-life;
IMPORTANT and also keep in mind any that finish “to be have you in mind to please.
continued” are dismissed. Beginning middle and end are Australia is the place to be;
the core of a short story and remember to make that story when travels on your mind
interesting. Thank you to all the teachers and parents for Relaxing or adventure;
encouraging young writers. It is our aim to have some- in Australia you will find
where to show their talent, and keep writing alive. We hope
to see you next year . Well done to the winners. Relaxing or adventure mate;
in – Aussie – you - will – find.

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