Page 100 - ConvinceThemFlip

convince them in 90 seconds or less
Become aware of the
embedded messages in
the words you choose.
Say “My pleasure,” or
“You’re welcome,”
instead of “No problem.”
Let’s start at the sim-
plest possible level. If you
teach a dog to jump up
when you say “Jump up,”
what do you think the dog
will do when you say “Don’t
jump up” without changing
the tone of your voice?
That’s right—the dog
will jump up! Even when we humans, who can process
language, hear you say, “Don’t jump up,” we first have
to think about jumping up, and then do something else
instead. This is because “don’t,” and all negation, really
isn’t language.
So, if “don’t,” or negation generally, doesn’t register
with the brain, then what should I expect my daughter’s
first thought to be when I say “Please don’t mess up
your room”?
Recently, I gave a keynote speech at a resort where the
swimming pool curved its way in and out of the conven-
tion hall. As part of the welcoming speech, the president
of the association joked with the attendees, “Please don’t
fall into the pool.” You could see their eyes glaze over
momentarily as they pictured themselves doing just that.
We even do this to ourselves when we say things like “I
don’t want to mess up this deal.” And how many of us
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