Page 13 - Likutei Tipshim

Mr. & Mrs. Binyarriin Purim happily announce the engagmcnt of their daughter Esther
to Mordechai son of Mr. & Mrs. Frcylach Shtick. The Purim-Shtick Wedding will be
on the 14 of Adar at the Kings Hotel. Bring your own bottle. (Anshe Shushan)

Mr. & Mrs. Bigg invite the entire community to the Bar Mitrvah of their son Groys.
The Bigg kiddush will take place from 10 a.m.- 4 p.m. on shabbos parshas Matos-
l.ikutei Tipshim is the official weekly publication of Avis Rent-a-Car. remind-
Massa at the expo center. (Bais Kcnesset Hagadol)
ing you that O. J. Simpson is the offical spokesman of Hertz Rent-a-Car.
PURIM EDITION

• Can I eat at treif resteraunts if they advertise in Jewish newspapers?
• Guns and Butter: Economics of Warfare, and whether weapons are milchigs.
• Starling a Synagogue: Be the 10,000th person on your block to start your own shul.
1
Includes lime-tested rules for starting a "machlokes" at your current shul, guaranteed jrr s ?! TP "Until He Does Not Know." One of the most famous mitzvot of Purim
to bring you new members. is ST K'n -T9 We are required to drink until we don't know the difference between
• The Peace Movement: Is reliance on a miracle permissible, or should we jusl slux)l
Baruch Mordechai and Arrur Haman. Several fundamental questions arise. (1) If we
v ou now and gent ewer .......... ..... ........... arc supposed to drink until we can't tell the good guys from the bad guys, when we
D isclaimer: any semblance of this publication to any current publication in public domain wlictl get lo that point, won't we be too drunk to notice? (2) Is there a set time period during
real or imagined, is purely intentional with no malice meant. This publication is still not a recipient of
which we have to attain this level (Kdai Achilas Pras, perhaps?) (3) For how long do
the Jewish Federation of Metropolitan Chicago, even though we are more entertaining than many
we have to retain this frame of mind? There are many opinions on these sobering
other institutions but far cheaper! issues. The great French Purim Rav, Rabbi Potch en Panim in his sefer, "Likutai
Use only as directed. May cause drowsiness. Drink alcohol before reading. General guidelines not
Shtuyot," published in the Champagne region in 1787 (a good year for Purim Torah
established for pregnancy or nursing mothers. Contents sold by weight, not volume. Not responsible
for errors of ommission or commission. Your mileage may vary. This publication is known to cause that ages well over time), brings down several approaches. The American approach is
Killiness to the State of California. Registered Penn. Dcpt. of Agriculture. Printed in the U.S.A Some never learning the Purim story and thus always maintaining the mindset of Lo Yada.
assembly required. Do not puncture or incinerate in fire. Please dispose of immediately. Slippery However, if you are contemplating this issue, it's too late to follow that Shita. He
when wet. We are not liable for any indirect special, incidental, economic or consequential damages serves up this explanation, "the issue of time is relative" ( see Einstein, Harvard, 1946)
arising out of the use or in ability to use this product, even if we have been advised of the possiblily of in respect to drinking on Purim. We see from Megilas Esther, that while it took sever-
such damages. Shake well before using. Not copy protected. Phenyulketonurics: docs not contain
al years for the Purim story to play out, we only allow drinking one day. If we take 3
phenylalanine. Causes humor in laboratory rats. Drink plenty of fluids. Check with your doctor if you
years or 365x3, it equals 1095. So, hi essence (see Dead Sea Scrolls) we have to try
cannot stop laughing irJ three days. No user servicable parts inside. Opening this pamphlet will void
and compress 1095 days into 1. The gematria of 1095 is Ratza Keshet or wanting a
your warranty. Danger: High Voltage. Authorized Personnel Only. Do not write in this space. Keep
rainbow. For that reason, to facilitate and maintain the state of Ad Dlo Yada, he rec-
away from children. Keep away from adults. This is not a toy. Keep away from magnetic fields. Do
not x-ray. May burst or release toxic material. If swallowed, call a poison control center. Trespassers ommends mixing drinks of various colors. To determine if you have truly reached the
will be shot. Survielance cameras installed for your protection. No parking. Wear protective face highest level, Dry playing the Purim card game GEN-RUMmy. If you can't, Mazel
masks, gloves, and clothing. Use only in well- ventilated areas. Complies with Part 15 of FCC rules for Tov, you've fulfilled the mitzvah.
electromagnetic radiation. Do not stand above this step. You must return the registration card to vali-
date your warranty. Not responsible for articles left in vehicle. Use at your own risk. Must he 21 years "Mi Shanichnas Adar Marbim Bisimcha" - - when Adar enters joy increases.
of age or older. Stay hack 500 feet. No turn on red. Objects in mirror are closer than they appear. Offer Now we see in the month of Adar we should experience adar joy, but we must be
void were taxed regulated or licesnsed. No purchase necessary. See entry form for details. May not be careful it doesn't turn into adar nonsense during which, some people would view it all
reproduced in any form, except for brief excerpts for journalistic reviews. Do not fold, bend spindle, in adar disbelief, and shove you out adar. In adar words be joyful in moderation, adar-
or mutilate. I will not be pushed, shoved, stamped, indexed briefed, debriefed, or numbered! wise you run the risk of having a cow.
If there is any Torah content in this material, it isn't our fault!
In the interest of promoting a more Torah way of living the Midot Committee of
the Affiliated Yeshivos of Greater Chicago is pleased to announce their first annual
tresrey sifi japirEX3]v '£ Aneyvous award. The winner(s) will receive a $5,000.00 cash prize and will be hon-
g Euqsnu '[ Tjojud loARJOj-j aos '(?
ored on national television. If you would like to be considered for this award please
"!qt!» [ ui tiMop 08 01 iire/w l.uptp sq osnnnnq £ submit two letters of recommendation (one of them from your banker or broker) as
"."W|f>r ou 5,11 /((oiBunpojun "£
well as a 2,500 word essay entitled "Why I think I am the biggest Anav in the city."
•qoaods 8uo] B jo ucztup 3iq E si njaq] ji /<iuo • j
All applications must be received no later than (he 15th of Adar for serious consideration.