Page 62 - HaMizrachi # 22 Rosh HahHana - Yom Kippur 2020 USA

GENERAL INTEREST

Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twerski

Learning To Like Yourself

ne of the obstacles in the path many of us are unable to truly relax. a different perspective. The Talmud
toward spirituality is the reluc- We entertain ourselves by reading, explains (Shabbat 89a) that the various
Otance among many people to watching television, chatting with Biblical commandments of behavior
consciously reflect upon themselves. someone, listening to music, etc. But were given to us precisely because we
The reason for this became apparent to be entertained is to be diverted. By have a fundamentally animal body,
to me when I attended a health spa to focusing our attention on these activ- subject to all the instincts and drives
treat my chronic low back pain. ities, we divert our attention from of the animal world. Our distinction is
everything, including ourselves. When that we can become master over these
On the first day at the spa, I was all diversions are eliminated, we are impulses. In other words, the discov-
placed in a whirlpool bath in a small left alone with ourselves, forced into ery of animalistic traits within myself
cubicle. It was nothing less than par- direct contact with our own person- was no reason to consider myself a
adise. I was at peace and there was alities and the personality flaws that “bad” person.
nothing to disturb that peace. After trouble us. And this is where the dif-
about five or six very enjoyable min- ficulty lies. A little investigation with my patients
utes, I emerged from the whirlpool, confirmed my hypothesis: many
telling the attendant how relaxing the I had been left totally alone, in abso- people are indeed incapable of toler-
experience had been. To my astonish- lute communion with myself. When ating themselves because they harbor
ment, he said, “You can’t get out yet, one is left alone in a room with some- self-directed feelings of negativity.
sir. The treatment here requires you to one one dislikes, it can be a very Their discomfort with themselves may
stay in the pool for 25 minutes.” unpleasant experience, and one can be so great that they employ a variety
hardly wait to get away. What was of tactics, some of them quite drastic,
I returned to the tub, but not to an there about myself I didn’t like? Why to escape or deny their identity as they
enjoyable experience. Every minute could I not tolerate being in my own
lasted for a painful eternity and after presence? perceive it.
five minutes I could no longer take it. These people are actually fine, com-
On my second exodus, the attendant I hypothesized that I must have some petent and likable people. The prob-
informed me that unless I completed character traits I would prefer to lem is, instead of seeing themselves as
the requisite 25 minutes, I could disown, but whose existence I could they really are, they somehow develop
not continue to the next phase of ignore as long as I was distracted by a distorted image of themselves, and
treatment. various external pre-occupations and it is this distorted image – which they
stimuli. As I persisted in my intro-
Later I reflected on what had been a spection, I found myself to be a jealous assume to be their real image – that
rude awakening. I had been certain person, often trying to impress people. becomes intolerable.
that my distress had been due to the I had temptations and impulses I Spirituality relates to what is unique
relentless pressures of my practice: thought should be alien to a truly in humans and how they master their
a busy emergency room, receiving moral person. I reasoned that if people animal-like instincts. This requires
cases around the clock, a 300-bed ever discovered what emotions existed a valid and accurate self-awareness
acute psychiatric hospital for which beneath this facade I presented to the which may be distorted by negative
I was responsible. Now I had been world, they would probably reject me. delusions about oneself. For spiritu-
temporarily liberated from these over- And how could I ever merit bless- ality to be pervasive, aspects of one’s
whelming pressures, yet I found more ings from G-d if I was indeed a base humanity must be viewed realistically
than five minutes of peace intolerable. person? and appreciated.
Why?
Along this rather depressing course of Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twerski is a psychia-
We are adept at diversion, at amus- self-reflection, I came across a passage trist and rabbi, and founder of the Gateway
ing ourselves one way or another, but in the Talmud that enabled me to gain Rehabilitation Center in Pennsylvania.

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