Page 57 - HaMizrachi # 22 Rosh HahHana - Yom Kippur 2020 USA

RELATIONSHIPS GENERAL INTEREST

Sherrie Miller-Heineman

Proper Preparation

Prevents Poor Performance

a meaningful dialogue through which
each gender collectively and individ-
ually is afforded the unique opportu-
nity of knowing and understanding
ourselves first and then our other half.
This holy encounter leads to a total
integration and perfection of male and
female traits and heals the original
fragmentation of the universe while
re-uniting us with our Maker.

The letters of ׁשאר, when rearranged,
ֹ
spell ר ֵ ׁשא, happiness. Happiness is a
ֹ
product of a job well done. Happiness
osh means beginning and shana what traits need to be eliminated and is a sense of satisfaction that the yeo-
means year. We are celebrating which new attributes need to be incor- man’s effort we made has borne fruit
Rthe beginning of a new year. porated to reach more elevated goals and enables us to live a much more
What is the significance of these two in the coming year. Our Rabbis tell meaningful life.
words and the message they impart? us it is easier to learn the entirety of The first word of the first parasha in
Mishna than to change one character
Shana refers to the dimension of trait. However, they console us with the Torah is Bereishit, which is com-
ֹ
time and stems from the same root as the adage: א ָ ר ְ ג ַ א א ָ ר ֲ ע ַ צ םּופ ְ ל – “according prised of two words – ׁשאר (begin-
shinui, change. We must change with to the effort, is the reward!” ning) and תִי ַּ ב (home). The implicit
time or we will stagnate and die. We message is that the preliminary
must choose to move forward or inev- Marriage is the pivotal arena for inter- and primary purpose of Creation is
itably we will find ourselves moving facing the lower self with the Divine achieved through the home. G-d’s
backward. Nothing can thrive in a self, by requiring us to see our reflec- expectation of us is to make Him a
vacuum. We must be adamant in our tion – the good and the bad – through home on earth in which His glory will
resolve to better ourselves and make our partner. We are sometimes faced be revealed and appreciated. This can
the necessary adjustments in ourselves with many unpleasant revelations be achieved by consciously striving
before we can hope to attain a fulfill- about ourselves and must choose if we to create an ideal relationship in the
ing and satisfying relationship with wish to play the blame game and proj- coming New Year and preparing to
someone else. ect the flaw onto our partner, render- build and strengthen our marriages. If
ing ourselves unchanged and smug, or we can do that, we will discover ulti-
The beginning of a new year is a time accept responsibility, seek the path of mate fulfillment and satisfaction in our
of reflection, a time to stop and intro- self-refinement and move toward our lives.
spect and assess what we have accom- true essence of G-dliness.
plished in the past year in order to Blessings for a joyous and meaningful
determine and choose our destination One cannot do this work alone. In New Year!
and goals for the coming year. Rosh Bereishit we are told, “it is not good
Hashanah is a time to ask ourselves for Man to be alone.” It is precisely
how well we have succeeded in achiev- for this reason G-d split the all-en- Sherrie Miller-Heineman has an M.A.
ing our goals of last year, what still compassing Man into a Man and a in marriage counseling with 30 years
needs to be improved and changed, Woman, for there to be an encounter, experience.

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