Page 49 - HaMizrachi Rosh HaShana - Yom Kippur 5783 USA

be more economical to spend an addi-
tional 100 NIS on things I don’t want
in order to get yet another 100 NIS
worth of things I do not need. But the
woman at the cash register is certain
that I’m being a friar, that I am simply
too small-minded to appreciate the
concept of spending more to get more.
And while I am confident regarding The tortured narrator understands that blossoms in late winter, well
my decisions in the frozen food aisle that he is damned if he does and before most other flowers. It comes
and sometimes even the clothing store, damned if he doesn’t. And so he hero- on the scene boldly, blooming in fields,
due to my ongoing status as a non-na- ically weighs his options, and chooses cliffsides, and between cracks in rocks,
tive Hebrew speaker, I am aware that I to go out on his own terms with his knowing full well that the weather will
am not adept at reading the fine print. head held high. The beauty and trag- likely be harsh and unwelcoming for
This can make it difficult to know if I edy of his decision resonates deeply the next while. The other flowers must
am being offered a deal or being played within me. So since it’s all decided think the calanit is a friar for working
for a fool. Am I a friar for opening that that I must be a friar, perhaps I should so hard to grow and survive, rather
credit card that promises discounts on simply embrace it. than just waiting for the warmer,
hundreds of products? Or am I a friar kinder months of spring. They don’t
for not opening that credit card? When I first started driving in Israeli understand that she’s really just an
traffic, I was told to stay very close to
And if I dare ask the person offering the car ahead of me so that no one optimist, hoping for the best, trusting
the credit card if he thinks I am a friar, would cut me off. I white-knuckled her environment to help her out, and
my mispronunciation of that double it on many roads, diligently chasing trying to spread a bit of joy during the
reish sound in the word friar will be a the back bumper of the lead car, until February darkness. Also, she’s hungry
dead give away that I am indeed ripe I realized that it was far safer and for pie.
for being scammed.
more enjoyable to just back off and And so I hereby reclaim the title of
Let’s review: Sometimes people think let people cut in. They will likely reach friar, wearing it as a badge of honor
I am a friar because I do not like peas. their destination minutes ahead of me, in the face of the name-callers and the
And sometimes people think I am a but I’ll get there in my own time, with head-shakers. I am a friar. I drive as I
friar because I legit don’t understand my car and my sanity intact. If that please and make whatever decisions
the terms that are being offered. But makes me a friar, then please pass the I fancy regarding frozen vegetables.
regardless of the circumstances, a friar pie. Join me, fellow friars, it is liberating
is what they see. and redemptive out here on this ledge.
I’ve come to wonder if being a friar is
This reminds me of the seminal work my destiny. My name, Kally, is derived And for those of you who know how
written by the great American poet, from calanit, an Israeli wildflower. The to read the fine print, I invite you to
Shel Silverstein: calanit is a brightly colored anemone join me as well. I could really use your
help out here.
Pie Problem
If I eat one more piece of pie, I’ll die! Kally Rubin Kislowicz made Aliyah from
Cleveland, Ohio, to Efrat in 2016.
If I can’t have one more piece of pie,
I’ll die!
So since it’s all decided I must die,
I might as well have one more piece
of pie.
MMMM – OOOH – MY!
Chomp – Gulp – ’Bye.’

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