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The Red Well-Read Reader
Story 354

So Juiced
Drinking all day caused Mr. Proust to get so juiced. He would drink until his
belt had to be loosed. Then he'd drink some more until he fell from his bar
roost. And then there on the floor he'd say, "This is how I'm used . . . to
giving my spirits a boost !"

Story 355
Babe Ruth
As a youth, still without one front tooth, I used to watch the Yankees from
a press-box booth. Though the New York crowd was sometimes uncouth, I
never had the slightest ruth. It was so much fun to see Babe Ruth. That’s
the honest-to-goodness truth !

Story 356
To the Louvre ?
When Pierre made a false move, his teacher said: "Your behavior must
improve ! Your math, you always forget to prove, and your hat you never
remove. Will you ever do anything of which I can approve ? All I do is
reprove and disapprove !

"Now, if you don't get into the groove, you'll be left behind when your class
goes to the Louvre !"

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