Page 138 - Grammar for Great Writing B

ACTIVITY 10 Steps to Composing

Read the paragraph. Then follow the directions in the 10 steps to edit the information
and composition of this paragraph. Write your revised paragraph on a separate sheet of
paper. Be careful with capitalization and punctuation. Check your answers with the class.

CAUSE-EFFECT

Becoming an Everyday Environmentalist

1 People can take some steps to protect the environment. One of the easiest steps
2
is turning off the lights when leaving a room. Turning off the lights saves electricity
3
and lowers one’s electric bill. One more step is to turn on a fan and raise the setting
4
on the air conditioner. This will make the people in the room feel cooler. In addition
6
5
to conserving energy, people can also take steps to conserve water. One way is to shut
7
off the water while brushing their teeth. This behavior saves water as well as money.
8
9 Another way to save money is to get tap water instead of buying water in a bottle.
10 Bottled water is more expensive than tap water, and it comes in plastic bottles, which

contribute to pollution. People can plant gardens. Growing vegetables at home helps
12
11
the environment by enriching the soil as well as providing organic produce at a much
lower cost than buying produce at a supermarket. There are numerous ways people
13
can help save the environment, and these first steps are both easy and rewarding.

1. In sentence 1, the word some is vague. Change it to the more specific phrase
several simple.
2. In sentence 3, the introductory phrase Turning off the lights is repetitive. Change it
to this step.

3. In sentence 4, one more is informal. Replace it with another.

4. In sentence 5, replace This with The fan to create a smooth transition between
sentences 4 and 5.
5. In sentence 9, the verb get is vague and informal. Change it to drink.

128 Unit 9 Writing with Articles

Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s).
Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s).
Editorial review has deemed that any suppressed content does not materially affect the overall learning experience. Cengage Learning reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
Editorial review has deemed that any suppressed content does not materially affect the overall learning experience. Cengage Learning reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. WCN 02-200-203
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