Page 18 - August 2023 CW Magazine

Sure, dating can be fun but meeting him was
magical. Our romance was like clockwork
leading to a timely engagement and marriage.

His passing was devastating.

Let me confess now that while it’s hard
enough going through that painful experience,
getting back out there again as a new widow
is almost unimaginable. It was a place of
starting over and a path of discovering a lot
more. A lot more about dating; and a lot more
about myself.

To be clear, dating is NOT for wussies.

Who knew that all of my experiences (the
good, the bad and the ugly) would bring forth
an insatiable desire to consciously formulate
my dating journey. Certainly not me. But I
knew if I was questioning the often painful
process, others were too. I simply wasn’t
having fun - and set out to find out why.

Someone once asked, “How did you find your
purpose?” That was a thought provoking
moment. For me it was more like an obsession.
I wanted to empower single women. There’s a
formula for dating just like there’s a formula
for the sun rising every morning. And because
dating is formulaic I got it down to a science.

Yup, I knew before the fourth date whether to continue or not. After thousands of hours and years
of study, I “earned” my Doctorate in Dating. If that’s not a thing yet it is now and I have the
trademark to prove it.

The journey to get here wasn’t without tears but love is worth it.

What surprised me the most as a new widow, was falling in love when I was already in love. That’s
a twist of emotions worth talking about. I walked away with two magnificent messages. 1) Allow
people to love you the way they know how. I learned this while in my heaviest of grieving and still
honor this today. And 2) Loving another does not replace anyone. Once people understand that,
they’ll give themselves permission to love again.

I had a great life with my late-husband Pietro AND now I’m having a great life with my now-
husband Jeffrey. I never saw him coming either. How could I? While the time was right for me to
“get out there again,” I certainly never dreamed I would, or could, fall in love. The great news is
there’s no law that says you can’t have more than one “happily ever after.”

Still, sometimes the best remedy is to cry when you need to, and then just laugh.

THE CONTEMPORARY WOMAN MAGAZINE www.thecontemporarywoman.com I 19