Page 38 - Advanced Romance

Advanced Romance* 35
and be willing to live happily enough with that. That sounds impossible, but given the fact that the odds
are against your staying in your current romance, this should be your goal. By facing this, you can discuss the relationship relatively rationally.
Another reason relationship discussions are so difficult is that they may lead to greater commitment. Making that decision requires courage also. If
one person is putting on pressure in hopes of the relationship becoming more committed, then the other may be feeling pressure to make decisions they aren’t yet ready to make. This can cause extreme dissonance. You don’t want to lose the relationship, but you also don’t want to lie about it.
If your partner is pressuring you and you aren’t ready for a discussion, call time out. Then schedule a relationship discussion for sometime during the next few days. The partner insisting on making the decision should at least be able to wait till then, when you’ve fully thought out your position.
The Hollywood version of this quandary might
sound something like this:
One: “If you have to think about it, you don’t love me.”
The other: “Of course I love you, we just haven’t yet decided how permanent we want our love to be.”
One: “It’s that attractive coworker of yours isn’t it? You don’t want to give them up.”