Page 63 - Advanced Romance

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relationship also means the end of any friendship. If it doesn’t, then the continuation of the friendship lessens the self-esteem hit. Also, the perception would change if the 50% breakup rate were accepted as a normal figure rather than something to be resisted at almost
all costs. And the whole winning and losing dynamic may disappear if this is so. “Okay,” you think. “You don’t love me now. You may later. I’m not a loser, just a victim of normal love patterns that almost everyone has gone through.”
So, Mary forces Harry to get a divorce or to stop dating her. It happens all the time, and does not necessarily say anything about Harry.
Above all though, have compassion for yourself and your erstwhile mate. These gigantic relationship changes are bewildering and doom many loves to so- called failure. You’ve been swept up in a glorious/tragic whirlwind made only partly from you and your lover’s free will. In a global sense, it’s not your fault. And, as noted, since 1985 this reality has been reflected in all 50 states. They all offer no-fault divorce as grounds for breaking up a marriage.34
If you haven’t found sufficient love you’re probably not a failure. Instead you’re most likely a victim of one of the most profoundly transitional relationship periods in history. Be patient and compassionate—with yourself most of all.
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