Page 85 - IFAFA ebook v4

33.

Aristotle Garcia Byrne

As a foreign-born spouse, I think the integration part is important.

You are entering into a culture, wondering whether they will take

you or not and vice versa, whether you will like them or not. That

is far from your mind when you first meet your partner but later

when you take a further step up, you need to take this into

consideration.

In my situation, as a same-sex couple, we would like to have a

family so there is a lot to take into consideration. Our family plan

will probably happen during our next posting.

Then there is the career door, which is a massive thing, such as who

will take a career break etc. There is a desire for independence,

including in a relationship. Kevin and I met on his posting and

when he came back to Dublin on promotion, we had to make

arrangements. I decided to step back and go into transition. It is a

constant discussion. I left my network and friends but moved on to

do something else. It can be exciting to learn something else such as

languages. Kevin is now learning Chinese.

I grew up as a diplomatic child myself. I certainly realize that there

is a bigger world down there. I look at it as a privilege to have the

opportunity to live among different people, to see how the other

world lives. I saw this as a child. You always have to fend for

yourself but I am able to contribute and that’s an ongoing

discussion. I also realize that it is not always easy to represent a

country you were not born in.

I can see that the generation that is coming in now is different but

I have seen no sign of a backlash. Kevin’s position in the

Department is helpful, IFAFA is now included in policy changes.

For instance, dual career families will change the way the

Department faces the future and it is in their best interest to

accommodate families as much as they can.

Kevin and I have been married for two and a half years and we will

debate about countries that come up for our next posting. In

IFAFA, you can learn from other people’s experience. It is a unique

condition in which we operate.

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