Page 90 - Bridget Jones's Diary - by Helen FIELDING

boyfriend.

'Oh!' I said, over-compensating madly. 'You mean your Jerome? Course
Jerome's invited, yer ninny. Chuh! But do you think it's OK not to ask Jude's
Vile Richard? And Sloaney Woney -even though she had me to her birthday last
week?'

'She'll never know.'

When I told Jude who was coming she said perkily, 'Oh, so we're bringing
other halves?' which means Vile Richard. Also now that it's not just six I will
have to ask Michael. Oh well. I mean nine is fine. Ten. It'll be fine.

Next thing Sharon rang. 'I hope I haven't put my foot in it. I just saw Rebecca
and asked her if she was coming to your birthday and she looked really
offended.'

Oh no, I'll have to ask Rebecca and Martin Crashing Bore now. But that
means I'll have to ask Joanna as well. Shit. shit. Now I've said I'm cooking I can't
suddenly announce we're going out to a restaurant or I'll seem both bone idle and
mean.

Oh God. Just got home to icy offended-sounding answerphone message from
Woney.

'Cosmo and I were wondering what you'd like for your birthday this year.
Would you call us back, please?'

Realize I am going to spend my birthday cooking food for sixteen people.