Page 91 - Bridget Jones's Diary - by Helen FIELDING

Saturday 18 March

8st 13, alcohol units 4 (fed up), cigarettes 23 (v.v. bad, esp. in two hours),
Calories 3827 (repulsive).

2 p.m. Humph. Just what I needed. My mother burst into my flat, last week's
Grasshopper Who Sang All Summer crisis miraculously forgotten.

'My godfathers, darling!' she said breathily, steaming through my flat and

heading for the kitchen. 'Have you had a bad week or something? You took
dreadful. You look about ninety. Anyway, guess what, darling,' she said, turning,
holding the kettle, dropping her eyes modestly, then looking up, beaming like
Bonnie Langford about to embark upon a tap-dancing routine.

'What?' I muttered grumpily.

'I've got a job as a TV presenter.'

I'm going shopping.

Sunday 19 March

8st 12 alcohol units 3, cigarettes 10, calories 2465 (but mainly chocolate).