Page 34 - Biblical Counseling II-Textbook

Researcher Konrad Lorenz explored this rigid attachment process. Imprinting is the process by which
certain animals form attachments during critical period very early in life. Critical period is the optimal
period shortly after birth when an organism’s exposure to certain stimuli or experiences produces
proper development. He wondered: What would ducklings do if
he was the first moving creature they observed? What they did
was follow him around: Everywhere that Konrad went, the
ducks were sure to go. Further tests revealed that although
baby birds imprint best to their own species, they also will
imprint to a variety of moving objects – an animal of another
species, a box on wheels, a bouncing ball. And once formed, this
attachment is difficult to reverse (Myers, 2009).

Children – unlike ducklings – do not imprint. However, they do
become attached to what they’ve known. Mere exposure to
people and things fosters fondness. Children like to reread the
same books, re-watch the same movies, reenact family
traditions. They prefer to eat familiar foods, live in the same
familiar neighborhood, attend school with the same old friends.
Familiarity is a safety signal. Familiarity breeds content Basic
trust is a sense that the world is predictable and trustworthy.
This is formed in infancy by appropriate experiences with
caregivers (Myers, 2009)

Deprivation of Attachment
“Do parental neglect, family disruption, or day care affect children’s attachments? If secure attachment
nurtures social competence, what happens when circumstances prevent a child from forming
attachments? In all of psychology, there is no sadder research literature. Babies reared in institutions
without the stimulation and attention of a regular caregiver, or locked away at home under conditions
of abuse or extreme neglect, are often withdrawn, frightened, even speechless. Those abandoned in
Romanian orphanages during the 1980s looked “frighteningly like (the Harlows’) monkeys”. If
institutionalized more than 8 months, they often bore lasting emotional scars” (Myers, p. 78, 2012).

“In humans, the unloved sometimes become the unloving. Most abusive parents – and many
condemned murderers – report having been neglected or battered as children. But does this mean that
today’s victim is predictably tomorrow’s victimizer? No. Though most abusers were indeed abused, most
abused children do not later become violent criminals or abusive parents.

Most children growing up under adversity and hardship are resilient (able to withstand or recover
quickly from difficult conditions); they become normal adults. But others, especially those who
experience no sharp break from their abusive past, don’t bounce back so readily. Some 30 percent of
people who have been abused do abuse their children. Extreme early trauma seems to leave footprints
on the brain” (Myers, p. 78, 2012).

Reflection: How can a relationship with Jesus change this? How would a pastor counsel a person who
has experienced abuse? Reflect on this question. We will discuss it in an upcoming chapter on trauma.

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