Page 79 - Youth Discipleship Student Textbook

1. Listen and find out the real problem. Don’t jump in and try to solve the problem immediately. It may
take some deep discussion to get to the ROOT of the problem. Ask open ended questions. At this point
in your meeting, don’t give advice. Treat this initial stage as a fact-finding mission.

2. Once you have a good perspective on the problem, list alternate solutions. Instead of laying out what
you believe is the best solution, help guide the student to come up with a solution. You may have to
steer them in the proper direction. Use the Scriptures that may apply to assist resolving the problems.
If a student comes to the right solution to the problem themselves, they are much more likely to follow
through on the right course of action.

3. Review the determined plan of action. Perhaps have the student state it back to you. Perhaps you
can rehearse the plan with them.

4. Establish some sort of accountability, either with yourself or a parent or other responsible party. If a
student knows he must report the results of the action to an accountable partner, he is much more
likely to walk through the process.

5. Have the student return to evaluate the results of the determined action. Did it solve the problem?
If not, pursue other forms of action. Encourage the student that the problem is in God’s hands and can
eventually be resolved. Regular phone calls, checkup meeting, and journaling is in order.

6. Your credibility depends on a person’s ability to trust that what they tell you will be kept between the
two of you. Don’t share these situations with your wife or any other person. The ONLY TIME that it is
worth breaking confidentiality is when there is a life-threatening situation and you are legally bound to
share the situation with another.

Counseling with those thinking of Suicide

In preparing for youth ministry, you wouldn’t think that young people would desire to kill themselves.
But suicide is no respecter of geography, economics, or status. It reaches into the homes of the richest
of the rich and the poorest of the poor.

22
In the USA, suicide is the second-highest cause of death among students between 15 and 24. An
average of over 5,000 suicides in the age range occur annually. Around 17% of youth in grades 9 – 12
23
have seriously considered taking their own lives. They see suicide as a real solution to resolving their
enormous problems. The need to realize that:

1. Suicide is a permanent solution to an often-temporary problem.
2. Long-term problems can be overcome by the strength of the Lord without giving up on life.

When counseling youth, ask them if they have considered suicide as a solution to their problems. If they
say no, then you can be relieved and talk about a real solution to their problems. However, if they say
yes, consider it serious, as 80% of those who commit suicide have talked about it to others BEFORE they
do it.

22 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teenage_suicide_in_the_United_States#:~:text=The%20suicide%20rate%20in%20t
he,death%20for%20that%20age%20range.
23 Ibid.

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